For Kids, Start with Leading Themselves

The United States Military Academy teaches leadership formally and used to address leadership in a couple of different categories.

• Leadership at the Individual System Level
• Leadership at the Group System Level
• Leadership at the Organization System Level

For now, I'll ignore small groups and organizational leadership because I think that tends to be more appropriate for adults. Here is the scope of competencies needed for leading yourself. This is a big job with kids that needs repetition like advertising. One time exposure is not enough for kids to learn this well enough to apply it. Whether you call this a Competencies Framework or learning objectives or performance objectives, these items are important to teach and have practiced.

Lead-Yourself Objectives for Kids
    Build character
        Read stories of strong character (provides examples in context)
        Have adults surrounding the child model strong character
    Develop sound judgement
        Teach and model classical values (for example, Christians use biblical values)
        Reason critically (teach critical thinking, problem solving, decision making skills)
        Reason and Lead ethically (role play with kids)
        Be aware of ethical and moral dilemmas and make right choices (role play with kids)
        Questions facts and assumptions (role play with kids)
    Apply Courage
        Confidence to say "I don't know" and then find out
    Orient to the best in us all
        Build empathy for others
        Accentuate the positive
        Nurture abundance thinking patterns over scarcity patterns
        Recognizes the worth of each individual
        Be optimistic about people
    Build confidence
        Be confident enough to convince people that you can lead
        Be humble enough to realize that you are often going to be wrong
    Anticipate consequences to choices
        Anticipate 2nd and 3rd order effects of actions and decisions
    Take ownership / accountability
        Avoid blaming
        Develop a sense of responsibility
    Influence peers more than you are influenced by them (hard for teens trying to fit in)
    Grit
        Keep pressing on despite setbacks or failures
        Persistent in face of continuing obstacles
    Understand the impact of own behavior on others
    Develop and maintain emotional "fitness" or strength
        Watch for kids with anger issues/fits (highlights emotional literacy improvements needed)
        Improve emotional literacy
            Self awareness
                Perceive emotion, changing moods, decide to be aware
                Monitor own emotions
                    Recognize their impact on others
                Discriminate between different emotions
                    Label them appropriately
                    Vocabulary to name emotions (language of feelings)
                    Know the difference between "I need" and "I want"
                    Play emotional charades
                    Keep a feelings journal
            Empathy
                Consider other people's feelings when making decisions
                Empathy is key to caring supportive relationships
            Social Effectiveness
                Use persuasion and influence
                Recognize power dynamics
                Use harmony and collaboration
                Use non-verbal communication to connect emotionally with others
                Use verbal communication to connect emotionally with others
                    Tone of voice
                    Timing and pace of the conversation
                    Avoid sarcasm, anger, name calling, and why questions
                    Use playful communication to relax
                    Stay focused in the present
                Monitor other's emotions
                    Pick up on emotional cues
                    Subtle facial expressions
            Regulate emotions
                Control own emotions and behavior to avoid negative impact on others
                Learn how to recognize and relieve stress
                Adapting to changing circumstances
                Accept personal responsibility for own reactions to change
                Control or redirect impulsive feelings and behaviors
                Chose to be a good, kind person and loving
                Know hardest times (tired, hungry, lonely)
            Decide not to be a victim
                Listening does not mean I agree
                It is not about winning
                What you say about me says nothing about me. It only tells me about you.          
        Stay cool under pressure
        Quickly recover from difficult situations
        Exemplify resilience       
        Hear difficult feedback (hard for kids, make sure they know you love them before this)
    Use self awareness to monitor and adjust their actions
    Demonstrate initiative
        Is comfortable in unexpected situations
        Take action without direction
        Align efforts with higher level goals
        Be proactive
    Adapt
        Scan the environment, identify conditions, and adjust
        Apply plan-do-check-adapt pattern      
        Respond to situational changes and evolving trends
        Learn the lessons of experience
        Recognize when what others have done is not an effective solution and make new solutions
        Take appropriate action
    Personally apply teamwork  
    Begin with the end in mind (Covey content)
    First things first
        Mental creation before physical creation (plans before action)
        Clarify objectives and intent
    Make ethical choices
        Discern right from wrong (role play with kids)
    Use time effectively (hard for kids)