Who Else Can Help?

NOTE: I found this article by someone else a long while back and I did not record the source at the time. The ideas are not mine. They are important for teaching leadership to children.

How do you find a way of leading that doesn't demand more than it gives back in return, that doesn't lead to burnout, or unfulfillment, or alienation, or drift? How do you teach a child to do the same?

You can't do everything yourself. If you do that, then why is a 'leader' of others even necessary? In addition to asking "How?" ask "Who?" Assume you're not the answer. Most of us ask "How?" How can I (or we) get this thing done? We begin assessing what it would take to turn the idea into something real. We begin thinking and planning. Many times we get overwhelmed. (All those details to handle! All that know-how required!) And we conclude, not unreasonably, that the idea can't be done. Or if it can be done, then usually the personal price paid by the leader — the knower of the answers — will be high.

But what if, instead, the leader presumes they can't do anything, at least not as well as someone else, and definitely not on their own. Instead of considering for a moment that you might be the person to execute the plans or projects that arise in the course of business, always assume there's a better option.

Instead of asking, "How can I do that?" ask "Who can do that?" "Who knows how to do that?" "Who can help me get that done?"

Management analyst Jim Collins (author of Built to Last and Good to Great: Why Some Companies
Make the Leap... and Others Don't ) likens the leader of an organization to the driver of a bus, Collins says that the bus driver's job is not to decide where the bus should go or how to drive it there, but to get the right people on the bus in the first place -- as well as to get the wrong people off the bus, and ultimately to get the right people into the right seats. The right people then will help the leader figure out where to drive and how to drive there. What's more, the right people will attract other right people and inspire them to stick around, diminishing the burden and anxiety felt by leaders who are in the position of having to motivate their flock by themselves. Although his example is more about hiring and staffing, it still has impact on project implementations.

By observing the who-not-how guideline, the leader is liberated to imagine. Since you don't assume you're the one who's going to have to do things -- or even that you're the one who has to know how to do things -- you're not limited to considering only the things you know you can do. Start thinking Who?, and the results are exponentially reinforcing: Once you find you can make things happen that you couldn't dream of doing yourself, you believe you can do anything. And so does everyone in or involved with your company, each of them able to see that the possibilities aren't bounded by their own know-how or even their leader's.

Don't try to be a super hero. Be a part of something. Resist emotional temptation—because the adulation that comes with charismatic leading is seductive. And when you stop building a charismatic organization, what you will lose is easy to see: You don't get to be a hero anymore. You'll lose something else, too, though. You'll lose your isolation. Do it together. Ask the right questions. Stuff doesn't have to be so hard."

If what you lose is obvious, then so is what you gain: Give up being a hero and, suddenly, you don't always have to perform like one anymore. Not only don't you have to supply all the momentum, all the know-how, all the emotion, you also don't have to fear that if you stop, so will everything else. When it's all about you —the cult of the charismatic leader—you're separated from others. Being a hero is lonely. Be a part of the organization you've created. You get to be fed. You get to be part of a community. You can be renewed while getting more done.

Find out the following.

• What do they know how to do?
• What knowledge or information do they have?
• Do they know how to get other resources?
• What would be helpful to know?
• What are their special skills?
• Their past experiences?
• Their hopes and fears?
• Their weaknesses as well as their strengths?
• Their goals and their attitudes?

When you find these things out, keep a small record of it so you can use their resources and knowledge and skills and goals when it helps the group.